nasasie | Soundtracks, Revolution and Christmas oh My!

First a text about a game, a game called Sanitarium.

a long time ago, (I think it must have been in the 98's still) when i first got my first computer, (a horrid thing with only 4 gigs of space from the help-central)
Needles to say i was a newbie, totally new, although it was supposed to be for schoolwork (i also got a practically identical duplet at school) i wanted of course to play games on it.
i had no computergames.
so i bough a magazine (fairly new, somehow imported from sweden) called "Tekno" for it had a cd with demo's and utilities and such on it, you see, this is where i initially got acquainted with both winzip and later irfanview, as well as a hoard of games i later bough*. (real shame really that it quit, i only have 3-4 issues, and the cd's are all shot to hell and scratched..)
and one of these had a demo for a very unusual name called "Sanitarium" (i remember it was because on that same disc was a demo for a game "Forsaken" which became infinitely more famous and i believe had 2-3 follow ups (not that i care about shoot-em-ups))
that same year i started at Bogstadsveien School again (jadda-jadda...) and i was (sorta) introduced to Judas Priest (again).

The following Christmas i wished for these two things (and probably a bunch of other stuff, but those i cant remember (and they're not important)) Sanitarium and Metal Works '73-'93

now, the cd's was no hard balloon, because those i found i the shop (i was looking for "x release that had y song" not especially "Metal Works" in itself.) but Sanitarium was harder, since this upcoming game didn't come. (the "Forsaken" game came and was HUGE and went)

the crank is, my mother managed to fool me! she did manage to get a-hold of it. i loved that game! (and Metal Works too.)

Later my mom played it too, she loved it just as much.

now liked the music very much of the game. you couldn't get a hold of it though, it wasn't cd tracks and it wasn't released separate (this was before they released soundtracks of everything and their dog to cash in on the $¥£¤)

couldn't find it. (/quote from game)

enter the internet!!! i did a horrendous search, i dare-say ransacking of the internet, and, dare i do it? dare i insert an link to ebil rorrentsiteuz?!!! yes i do. http://thepiratebay.org/tor/3918723

note the username. how fares the revolution*? is it dead? maybe if people would listen to the music...
but enough desperate but ignored plugging,

ciaan! you said in your comment you wanted to talk to me about the revolution. what is it?

i also have news on the Diorama front, i *did* actually manage to sell something! (yes, that is 2 years after it was relevant. i remind people once again about http://userpic.livejournal.com/5214442/676950 (which i cannot use, stupid fscking peoples.)) but you know. STUFF has happened (no i will not link to it, i am getting sick of typing in a href slash angle whatsit over and over, where did livejournals edit-blog-post javascript-fuu go to? its cool, it autosaves its draft incase of computer freeze or browser crash, but what, hey?! (and indeed, eh, steve!))

actually.. it is not so much Christmas that is the problem, for some obscure weird reason i am not at all as haplessly lost with depression that i though i would be, with being completely alone for the first time ever in a holiday seasion[sic] which is devoted almost exclusively to family type "being to-gether-ness"

It's my birthday.

that's a real douzy. see, everyone sorta *knows* about christmass, everyone will know that people who are single and alone on this holiday is depressed and lonely, i will probably get a lot of sympathy from likeminded. and this is universal, online and without.

but my birthday is a crux i must bear all alone. noone else* is alone for the first time without their mother on their completely invisible (because it's so close to christmas) Birthday.
it's actually making my teary-eyed to *write* about this shit. it's not funny.
last year was.... i don't want to talk about it. the memories.. its really a lot to much actually.

so no. i don't really feel all that bad about Christmas

and because this thing is stupid (aka puts in double paragraphs for no logical reason) I will not correct the many lover-capital[sic] i's. (seriously can not be arshed to go trough this text with a toothpick, it already took me 3 days to write it.)

ok, ok, so 2 and a half of that time was spent ignoring it and trying to come up with a suitable english word for "endevente" (ransack)

uhm.. i really maybe should be typing something non-depressio at the bottom of this post. I'm starting to sound like Strong Sad or something.. no.. I'm not going to link that.. you can search for it yourselves. google it or something.

this is Strongba.. er i mean Nas signing off.

* sanitarium is apparently now "abandonware", do a google search with "sanitarium abandon" and there are sites where you can dl it for free and play. e.g. http://www.the-underdogs.info/game.php?name=Sanitarium
* yes, i *did* forget how to link to communities, so shoot me.
* games!
Age of Empires, Worms 2, Mask of Eternity, Caesar 3, Sanitarium, would be Evolution, if i could have found it, it was discontinued, but it is now abandonware
* oh of course they are. but it doesn't feel like that, OK?!... besides, I *don't* know anyone close to me who cares about my mother dying who is going through the same thing around the 9th.
so i am alone.