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nasasieI am AFK atm, BRB and some other acronyms...
You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.
Hey, if I don't answer that probably means I'm asleep. If I do answer, I'm probably talking in my sleep and you'd be better off not listening to me anyway.
I'm not here.
If I'm not back by %t, I'm probably dead.
If you were my homework, I'd be doing you right now.
I am a creature from a galaxy far away, visiting
your planet. I have transformed myself into this
text file. As you are reading it, I am having sex
with your eyeballs. I know you like it because
you are smiling.
Well hello there, this is God speaking. I'm quite busy, being God and all. Now go, before I smite you.
Well it started when i put my left hand in, and then i took my left hand out. After that i found to my horror that i was doing the hokey pokey and shaking it all about. So leave a message because that's what this is all about.
I'm out doing extremely stupid things I don't feel like typing about, as I'm far too lazy for my own good. What? At least I'm being honest.
If I am away, you should get a message saying: If I am away, you should get a message saying: If I am away, you should get a message saying: If I am away....
If you are a friend try back in 10 minutes. If you are an enemy go away. If you are a sales person I don't want any. If we are married I will get back to you. If we don't know each other then go away, because I have enough annoying friends already.
We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary screen name. Please rotate your computer 90 degrees and try typing again.
Remember JESUS LOVES YOU... Everyone else thinks you're an idiot.
Sleep is good...I'm so tired i could fall asleep on this very keybjhfgbghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I've gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait here.
I am not here right now and regret to say that due to unforseen circumstances, later has been canceled.
Welcome to Love Line!..
To be loved like the flower loves the rain, press 1.
To be loved by three naked women in a bowl of lime jell-o, press 2.
Try this mad lib!
Hello, __________ I want to ________ you with a ______________ in the ____________ for ____________ cents. Will you proceed to ________________________________________________________________________________________? Please stop ______________________ with that sharp looking ________________________. Oh yes, please___________________________________________________________________. The end.
I am out on a mass murder right now. Leave your name, number, and address, and I'll kill you -- I mean, callyou -- as soon as possible.
Error: The away message you have tried to send is longer than 900 characters and is unable to be sent. We know you now have yet another reason to come and beat the living *beep* out of all the wonderful people working at Microsoft! We appreciate all the anthrax you are now about to send us and will return it to you as soon as possible.
Me not here. Me go bye. Leave me message. Me reply.
I’m currently away right now reading other peoples away messages. *note* I have no life…WHATSOEVER! Have a nice day!
I'm sorry, I'm busy partying in the Moshe Pit in my head. Leave me a message. If you would like to join me, press 2 and I will shrink you into my head to join me. Bring your own beer. Just stay away from the drunk Rabid Reindeer. He gets feisty when he drinks!
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in. . . What happens to the other penny?
hi. i am finding the true value of pi and will be back when i run out of paper. please do not leave a message because i will be distracted and have to restart. again. bye!
I AM NOT HERE NOW SO PISS OFF!
Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you!
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
WHAT YOU HAVE NOT LEFT?!
I one more time-a unclog my nose in your direction, sons of a windowdresser!
I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey bottom biters.
You tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms! Yes, depart a lot at this time and cut the approaching any more or we fire arrows at the tops of your heads and make castanets out of your testicles already! And if you think you got nasty taunting this this time you aint heard nothing yet!
I am not available because I am playing a computer game that takes up the whole screen. Is that just the stupidest automated away message you have ever heard or what?
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline!
- If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
- If you have multiple personalities, press 2, 3 and 4.
- If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press. Nobody will answer.
- If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are AND we are out to get you. Just stay on the line while we trace your call.
- If you are anal retentive, press 1, 5, 6, 8 and the # simultaneously, while standing on one foot and hopping.
Halloween costume: $20.00
Red Contacts: $15:00
the look of fear and impending doom on your party guest’s faces when they realize that you really are the devil and will take their souls……
priceless.
If you're sliding down the ocean on your jet ski and a wheel falls off, will it still take the same number of pancakes to cover the doghouse if your arms grow ten feet long?
Hello, %n , I'm away right now. I'm busy being redundant. See? Look, I'm being redundant by saying the same thing over and over by repeating things by reciting the same thing in a different form of words! Wow! I'm pretty damn good at that and I'm also talented at it! Whee!
I'm away right now, so cry me a river, build me a bridge and GET OVER IT!! :-P
I'm not here right now. Come back later.
Okay, you can stop scrolling down now.
You really like scrolling down, don't you?
Okay, that's enough.
I said that's enough!
STOP IT!!!!
Okay. You asked for it.
Scroll down any more and you're history.
Alright, I mean it this time.
GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you can physically see me at this moment, then there's no need for you to leave a message, due to the fact that you're not at your computer and you're standing right in front of me.
"Herro, this is Dr.Ho. If you leave message, I call back soon. If you leave sexy message, I call back sooner!"
Beware when a man dressed as a huge shrimp abandons his post at the opening of a seafood restaurant, steals an experimental hovercraft, and crashes it into your car. Trust me, the insurance company will refuse to pay a cent.
I'm not here. I'm writing poetry with the spiders that live in my sock
drawer. *nodnod* Spiders are good at haiku...
I am currently stalking someone. If you would like to leave your name (first, middle, and last), home, work, and recreational address(es), the telephone number(s) at which you can be reached (please list them in asending order from twleve midnight through the twenty-four-hour cycle, depending on the time at which you can be reached there), your social security number, pager number - heck, throw in your friends' phone, address, and pager info too, just in case you aren't home or at work or anywhere visible from a high place with high power binoculars - your parent's personal information would be useful too - I will get you- get back to you soon.
I'm out doing stuff right now. I would tell you what this "stuff" is, but then it wouldn't be a surprise. All I can say is that it doesn't have anything to do with nuclear weapons, and the hamsters are strictly for entertainment purposes. Leeme message.
I don't quite know what you did last summer, but I have a pretty good idea, and when your father gets home we're going to have a nice long talk.
I'm pooped, tired, bushed, beat, run-down, exhausted, sleepy, weary, drowsy lethargic snoozing, dozy, worn-out, drained, dead-beat, dog-tired, somnolent, fatigued... hey, my thesaurus works!!
Twinkle twinkle little star,
bet you're wondering where we are.
Where I am now is not your concern,
So leave me a message for when I return,
And if you can make your message rhyme,
I'll get back to you in half the time!
I am not available because I am playing a mind game that takes up my whole attention span.
I'm still online. yep. ...But actually I'm at Wal-Mart. It's funny how I can do that.
To learn the secrets of omnipresence, press 2.
To leave a message.. leave a message.
I didnt know running into the wall would hurt as much as it did. But here I am, laying in a pile of my own blood in a coma, hoping that my faithful penguin sends for help. Last time this happened the penguin just called me a pussy, took my shoes, and went to see "The Mask." To this day I still dont know if he liked it, and whenever I ask he just calls me a slut and throws ice cubes at me.
You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.
Hey, if I don't answer that probably means I'm asleep. If I do answer, I'm probably talking in my sleep and you'd be better off not listening to me anyway.
I'm not here.
If I'm not back by %t, I'm probably dead.
If you were my homework, I'd be doing you right now.
I am a creature from a galaxy far away, visiting
your planet. I have transformed myself into this
text file. As you are reading it, I am having sex
with your eyeballs. I know you like it because
you are smiling.
Well hello there, this is God speaking. I'm quite busy, being God and all. Now go, before I smite you.
Well it started when i put my left hand in, and then i took my left hand out. After that i found to my horror that i was doing the hokey pokey and shaking it all about. So leave a message because that's what this is all about.
I'm out doing extremely stupid things I don't feel like typing about, as I'm far too lazy for my own good. What? At least I'm being honest.
If I am away, you should get a message saying: If I am away, you should get a message saying: If I am away, you should get a message saying: If I am away....
If you are a friend try back in 10 minutes. If you are an enemy go away. If you are a sales person I don't want any. If we are married I will get back to you. If we don't know each other then go away, because I have enough annoying friends already.
We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary screen name. Please rotate your computer 90 degrees and try typing again.
Remember JESUS LOVES YOU... Everyone else thinks you're an idiot.
Sleep is good...I'm so tired i could fall asleep on this very keybjhfgbghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I've gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait here.
I am not here right now and regret to say that due to unforseen circumstances, later has been canceled.
Welcome to Love Line!..
To be loved like the flower loves the rain, press 1.
To be loved by three naked women in a bowl of lime jell-o, press 2.
Try this mad lib!
Hello, __________ I want to ________ you with a ______________ in the ____________ for ____________ cents. Will you proceed to ________________________________________________________________________________________? Please stop ______________________ with that sharp looking ________________________. Oh yes, please___________________________________________________________________. The end.
I am out on a mass murder right now. Leave your name, number, and address, and I'll kill you -- I mean, callyou -- as soon as possible.
Error: The away message you have tried to send is longer than 900 characters and is unable to be sent. We know you now have yet another reason to come and beat the living *beep* out of all the wonderful people working at Microsoft! We appreciate all the anthrax you are now about to send us and will return it to you as soon as possible.
Me not here. Me go bye. Leave me message. Me reply.
I’m currently away right now reading other peoples away messages. *note* I have no life…WHATSOEVER! Have a nice day!
I'm sorry, I'm busy partying in the Moshe Pit in my head. Leave me a message. If you would like to join me, press 2 and I will shrink you into my head to join me. Bring your own beer. Just stay away from the drunk Rabid Reindeer. He gets feisty when he drinks!
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in. . . What happens to the other penny?
hi. i am finding the true value of pi and will be back when i run out of paper. please do not leave a message because i will be distracted and have to restart. again. bye!
I AM NOT HERE NOW SO PISS OFF!
Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you!
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
WHAT YOU HAVE NOT LEFT?!
I one more time-a unclog my nose in your direction, sons of a windowdresser!
I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey bottom biters.
You tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms! Yes, depart a lot at this time and cut the approaching any more or we fire arrows at the tops of your heads and make castanets out of your testicles already! And if you think you got nasty taunting this this time you aint heard nothing yet!
I am not available because I am playing a computer game that takes up the whole screen. Is that just the stupidest automated away message you have ever heard or what?
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline!
- If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
- If you have multiple personalities, press 2, 3 and 4.
- If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press. Nobody will answer.
- If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are AND we are out to get you. Just stay on the line while we trace your call.
- If you are anal retentive, press 1, 5, 6, 8 and the # simultaneously, while standing on one foot and hopping.
Halloween costume: $20.00
Red Contacts: $15:00
the look of fear and impending doom on your party guest’s faces when they realize that you really are the devil and will take their souls……
priceless.
If you're sliding down the ocean on your jet ski and a wheel falls off, will it still take the same number of pancakes to cover the doghouse if your arms grow ten feet long?
Hello, %n , I'm away right now. I'm busy being redundant. See? Look, I'm being redundant by saying the same thing over and over by repeating things by reciting the same thing in a different form of words! Wow! I'm pretty damn good at that and I'm also talented at it! Whee!
I'm away right now, so cry me a river, build me a bridge and GET OVER IT!! :-P
I'm not here right now. Come back later.
Okay, you can stop scrolling down now.
You really like scrolling down, don't you?
Okay, that's enough.
I said that's enough!
STOP IT!!!!
Okay. You asked for it.
Scroll down any more and you're history.
Alright, I mean it this time.
GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you can physically see me at this moment, then there's no need for you to leave a message, due to the fact that you're not at your computer and you're standing right in front of me.
"Herro, this is Dr.Ho. If you leave message, I call back soon. If you leave sexy message, I call back sooner!"
Beware when a man dressed as a huge shrimp abandons his post at the opening of a seafood restaurant, steals an experimental hovercraft, and crashes it into your car. Trust me, the insurance company will refuse to pay a cent.
I'm not here. I'm writing poetry with the spiders that live in my sock
drawer. *nodnod* Spiders are good at haiku...
I am currently stalking someone. If you would like to leave your name (first, middle, and last), home, work, and recreational address(es), the telephone number(s) at which you can be reached (please list them in asending order from twleve midnight through the twenty-four-hour cycle, depending on the time at which you can be reached there), your social security number, pager number - heck, throw in your friends' phone, address, and pager info too, just in case you aren't home or at work or anywhere visible from a high place with high power binoculars - your parent's personal information would be useful too - I will get you- get back to you soon.
I'm out doing stuff right now. I would tell you what this "stuff" is, but then it wouldn't be a surprise. All I can say is that it doesn't have anything to do with nuclear weapons, and the hamsters are strictly for entertainment purposes. Leeme message.
I don't quite know what you did last summer, but I have a pretty good idea, and when your father gets home we're going to have a nice long talk.
I'm pooped, tired, bushed, beat, run-down, exhausted, sleepy, weary, drowsy lethargic snoozing, dozy, worn-out, drained, dead-beat, dog-tired, somnolent, fatigued... hey, my thesaurus works!!
Twinkle twinkle little star,
bet you're wondering where we are.
Where I am now is not your concern,
So leave me a message for when I return,
And if you can make your message rhyme,
I'll get back to you in half the time!
I am not available because I am playing a mind game that takes up my whole attention span.
I'm still online. yep. ...But actually I'm at Wal-Mart. It's funny how I can do that.
To learn the secrets of omnipresence, press 2.
To leave a message.. leave a message.
I didnt know running into the wall would hurt as much as it did. But here I am, laying in a pile of my own blood in a coma, hoping that my faithful penguin sends for help. Last time this happened the penguin just called me a pussy, took my shoes, and went to see "The Mask." To this day I still dont know if he liked it, and whenever I ask he just calls me a slut and throws ice cubes at me.
