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VYVYAN: Well, what about Babycham? One glass of that and I'm anybodys!

RICK: Then it's a bit of a pity that absolutely nobody wants you then, isn't it?!

VYVYAN: Shut up, or I'll tell everyone in this room that you've got an iron-on cartoon worm on the front of your Y-fronts that says "Girl Bait."

RICK: [uncomfortable] Oh, so you've been going through my Y-fronts, have you, Vyvyan?! I suppose you fancy me, is that it?!

VYVYAN: [pause, acting] Yes! As a matter of fact, I do, Rick! I really really fancy you. And I want to give you a big girlie kiss on the bottom!

RICK: Uh, Mike, Vyvyan's gone all funny! He said he wants to kiss my bottom!

VYVYAN: Did I say kiss you on the bottom? Oh, beg your pardon. I meant to say, stick a pick axe through your spinal column!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****************************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


VYVYAN: We'll soon be able to find out, won't we! 'Cause the vampire's gonna know! And if anybody gets attacked, then we'll know, that they're a sissy virgin! (God! I hope snogging with SPG counts!)

NEIL: [still holding the sausage] He's gonna get us! He's gonna turn us into vampires, and we'll all be dead, and yet still alive... like Leonard Cohen!

RICK: He's going to bite me first... I'm obviously the most succulent... Right! [runs to stairs] Mister Vampire! Mister Vampire! Don't bite me, I'm a hologram! Bite Neil! He's coffee flavoured!

VAMPIRE: Arrrrrggghhh!!!

MIKE: OK, guys! There's only one way out! We've all got to lose our virginity! Neil!

VYVYAN: But how Mike?.... Oh no!!! Bags not Rick!!

RICK: Bags not Vyv!!!

NEIL: Bags not ... Neil!




not to mention the episode where Neil wears a dress.. and Viv eyes him up XD
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