Week from Hell™

this week has not been the best of ones. as far as having tests on both Monday and Tuesday, having lj drama in general, being waved at with my real name, having random people stalk me on lj,
random people whom don't seem to understand that this place is where I go to whine about my problems and have artwanks.
this place is just for me to have an outlet of things that freaks me out *at that point* ...am I still, today, now? that hysterical? no.

this is LiveJournal, I don't need to defend my hysterical outburst on my own LJ, I don't need to apologise for offending anyone whom comes here and criticises me for (yes, overreacting) to something *they* said before.

this lj is *for* overreacting, that's why I have it. kindly let me have this place of hysterics alone and don't criticise me *here*

gurt. I had no idea that 'gurtler' is your last name. my point still stands because you called your damn domain name that. I would not react in such way had I called my domain name 'holmsen' where I would in such a case probably laughed my ass off.
and gender has very little to do with it
to clear up a misunderstanding. nor do I, as tronger pointed out, disapprove of others who are different, that is a reactionary question I really don't understand, why would you think that of me? I love difference. I who am a regular xenophile.
especially since the other parts of trongers comments I agree so totally with.

I have also resisted the self indulged urges to make my journal friends only. when I started this I was watching other friends having to deal with it, and in my mind I self would think that that would never happen to me. that I would feel relieved if mother or school mates found out the inner workings of my mind, that perhaps I'd not feel as.. lost in myself when everything hidden was out in the open...
never did it occur to me that having a separate personality 'mo' would somehow make this difficult

well not at first. later it became something that antagonised me, that 'mo' and 'nasasie' were separate. that I was no longer this one persona I could identify with but two, or more, but this was the first time that that other persona had a new circle of friends and others, a whole new world attached to 'mo' ...that the one world knew little of the other... this was a heavy stone to bear. such is the nature of me.
and my real name is attached to 'nasasie' and then someone, (whom I personally find tiresome to deal with on what which has become a daily basis) uses it. I freak-out. had it been anyone else I probably wouldn't have, at such a degree.
gurt also seemes to be intent to fuck with my brain, as he takes great amusement in baiting me, stupid as I am, I fall for it time and time again.

and now to make matters worse. others (namely tronger and now what I assume is gurt itself) finds this lj and makes comments?

hello? not helping my paranoia much? how did you find it? on the basis of tronger I can sort of understand. but gurt it is incomprehensible, someone must have given him the link....

or maybe I'm not as invisible as I think I am? that surprised me when soltian told me she had had a dream where I was in it. that I exist in other peoples thoughts outside me interacting with them.. had really not occurred to me until then

I have very few friends.. it must be that.. :)

as to gender. I am as manly as anyone else here. am also as gay, straight, bi and weird as those other people. finally I am also original.. like everybody else ;)


I am sorry if any of this offend tronger (really) or gurt (not as much) but this is *my* lj, if you don't like it, kindly fuck off.



other news:

mother continues to go to the hospital for dialysis, Christmas shopping for her to do is going to be difficult, I mean I can probably do much of it, but it is a bit stupid for me to buy my *own* Christmas presents, hello?
another worry for me to worry about. I fixed the spare time to math problem though. I'll just get up there on Wednesday and use the student-workshop. (despite this weeks taxicab troubles, gaahhh)

the english is going to be difficult. this subject is evil and untrustworthy, they require for me to have an *opinion* on Nelson Mandela and apartheid. I mean really, wtf other option than "nelson cool, racism bad", is there? I'm not really interested in him, I am much more interested in Martin Luther King jr. Shall have to follow mothers advice and work with *facts* instead of opinions. much easier for me.

and the english teacher is straining me, she's a very nice lady™ (gaahhh) but she wears me out very quickly, keeps going on about how great my english is and how fantastically interesting it is to pick my brain (apparently she hasn't met another person willing to discuss topics like "why are Europeans evil assholes?" in an intelligent manor) but doesn't understand that I do not mean to bark at her, it is something I perceive as discussion and the failure on my part to understand why it upsets her, is a part of my mental problems (ie asbergers / ADHD)

then it seems she's not telling the truth to my mother when she makes the trouble to go up there. I know what I heard. you didn't understand and your daughter having anger management problems have completely noting to do which *my* problems. so stop begin in my case and having to do with everything I have to do, thnx
(this woman is the type that if you tell her your mother has dyslexia, she has dyslexia, and if I have an uncle that has drug problems she knew someone who had drug-problems. And she's been the teacher in jail for wonderchild X who was erroneously jailed and told that he'd killed someone and its the polices fault that he killed himself and she therefor lobbied to get something done and jada jadda EXTREMELY politically correct that drives me up the wall very quickly)

tiresome for this regular un politically correct perverted asshat. :)

but I digress. shall have to work trough the snow of junk to do. I always do.. just.. a very.. very.. VERY tiresome week, all in all. next one will hopefully be better.

~ NasMo