(no subject)

I feel like crap (as you might have gussed from the latest posts :p)

I hate it when really feel shitty when other people who have it much more rough than me, have bad days because then it sounds so patetic when I complain because I can't help them (its the protective, seme instinct I suppose)

and then they do that 'I feel really shitty, so therefore I'm going to put up a brave face and not complain about it (inpublic, anyway) well atleast not in an overly agressive childish way) but this mature, kinda bitter sweet way, because you know.. it fucing hurts and I'm not gonna bitch about it anymore because that doesn't make me feel better' -thing

people that are strong do that. my mother does it. she's been trough shit, mann.. my own puny problems are shit in commparasemnt to everybody elses'

and.. I FUCKING HATE IT

when I feel bad, I want the whole fucking WORLD to know it. I'm MAD and DEPRESSED and FUREIOUS because I have to feel this way, when all I did wrong was get BORN with this fucking head in the first place

but I cant do that... it sounds so fucking selfcentered and childish.. maturety comes with strenght and selfreliance (erh what I mean by that is the opposidte of 'helplessnessity')

I'm not strong. I'm not self reliant. in this repsect I certanly suck, and deserve to get a wakeup-shot


I'm.. just.. so.... very.. very.. very

..lonely

and we pmsly prattle ooonn...

you know I love you right? like, really love you for real?

you are the only people I know and I love you.. all of you. even if you hate me, and don't notice me and think I'm oh-so shallow and selfconseited and looking-for-attention

I love you so much and.. yes ok

song for you.. because I love you so much it hurts:


Violent Love

~ Baby, you look so good,
I knew you would.
Please, don't go away
Darling, say it's okay...

I wanna make violent love
To you by the moon above
I wanna make violent love to you

I wanna kiss every night
To squeeze and hold you tight
I wanna make violent love to you

I don't want seem frantic
I don't want to cramp your style
You're driving me into a panic
You just wanna drive me, drive me,
Drive me, drive me wild ~